My Brain,

ohkie , so i restart & restart this post over because i have no clue exactly how i would like to say this.
yu know how yu do something & then yu regret it like not even 5 minutes later ..?
i do that type of thing alot .
theres alot of people in my life that ive regret meeting &stuff.. like because i know i shouldnt blame stuff on them ; i feel like they've altered my life in some negative way& i'd probably would have been much better off not knowing who they were.

Anyways i seemed to have been feeling that Alot.
& i dont wanna sound all secure & shit because i don't know where this is exaclty gunna go so i don't wanna get excited for nuthing & get my hopes up to be shot down..

But that feeling of total regret really went away lastnight .
like i took anxiety pills, listen to soothing music, wrote, thought & nuthing was helping At all before.
But uhm its gone now. & im dumb & young to say that just being with another human can take all that stress away .. but it did.

yesterday i was probably the most happiest ive been in a long time.
i feel special & loved. & the stress of constantly struggling & doing this & that, hw, & work, then gym, & being careful dont smoke, omg dont get drunk .. dont have sex hes not your man .. Yur big brother is calling, yur mom wants this & that from yu she wants money too but your job doesnt give enough to satisfy her & yur managers yellll at yu so much yu wanna just quit & walk out but were in a recession & if i lose this job im not getting another until a really long time & i dont have that luxery to just quit & wait .

Thats how my mind runs daily you see.
That was all gone . I was set free.
I'm attracted spiritually emotionally mentally & physically.
Clears my mind, your my drug.
i'd be find in this world if i had nuthing but your love.


i dunno but i was explaining to gabie how i felt & i feel like the most beautiful girl next to him. I feel like im special & im soooooo fucking lucky to have found someone that really cares, thats so passionate towrds me with everything he does.  Handles me with much care.  Takes my hand , promises never to let go & you haven't for since i knew you we've always been like this...
oh my fucking god this is how love feels.
i knew it ! i knew yu were the one since the moment i met you ..
i just want yu to kiss my forehead & promise me that were gunna be together someday .. someday till forever.