crumpled up notebook paper

this started as a note to gabie , i am copying as is mistakes & all:
I havent wrote a note in a long time but . w'e .
Ugh kid i feel like im abitch because i cant handle the shit that goes on in my life anymore. I cry over everything. Yo like nothing i do is ever right. I keep remembering one night i was with steven in a hartford party. That day Angel got jumped.
It's weird how emotions work ; Because i didn't help him. i say i couldn't have but i probably could have. Cuz i know when i saw steven almost get hit i jumped in the way & when issa was getting hit by her mom , i tried blocking the hits. & I know if george or my older brother was to ever almost get hit ..i'd jump right into the middle.
Idk. sometimes i feel like im too weak for the lifestyle that has been given to me. & everyone around me is weak too. I feel like i always have to be the strong one so i never talk about my problems & i just listen & consult everyone like my life is all good.
I wish i could leave providence. But then i'd feel guilty for running away from my problems -____-.
I swear i've been through it all. & i never say anything Because if i do , i am "exaggerating". IDK why my mind works this way but is does..
& everytime i think of a bad thing , they all come out. All the bad i ever been through - it joins together & over powers me , it outweighs what i can handle.
I cant handle everything. I'm sorry but
im not super woman.
I keep imagining me cleaning off Angels blood that night . HE was too weak to even speak. Everytime i would look up at him my throat tightened & my eyes welled up. I think now at it * he's made me Love him. Ive grown so much with him. I hope someone tries to fight him soon. I will jump in the middle of it.

IS IT ME OR DOES EVERYONE FEEL LIKE THIS AT TIMES o_O

The night angel got hurt , Shanelle called me the strongest person she knew.
I love you Shanelle A young.